?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
 
Karkat Vantas
29 January 2012 @ 08:55 pm
There's a guy I'd like to thank.

He writes the checks and leaves 'em blank.

He's the one...


He says, you don't have to walk the plank

The game is rigged

Go fig

your slideshow tanked

and your flagship sank


And we're taking all our myths to the bank

so just don't, don't forget to thank

we're taking our myths to the

drinking a fifth to the

we're taking all our myths to the bank

oh no

if you could just do him this favor

although it might involve child laber

join his entourage

give him a foot massage

from Star Search to the Philharmonic

He'll get you there with Hooked on Phonics

he's the one to know

doesn't matter if you blow

no, no, no, no

in fact it's just the thing

he thinks we're needing

it's a lukewarm liquid diet

they're force-feeding

when the words we use have lost their bite

it hits you like an imaginary pillow fight

but it's all right

'cause you're inside

and you're in tight




















Deals in commodities of the abstract sort

buys them in bulk but then he sells them short

talent genius love even signs of affection

he floods the market there's no price protection

and when his master plan is unfurled

there stands a handsome bid

on the weather systems


of the world
 
 
Karkat Vantas
23 January 2012 @ 04:43 pm
The thing about Milliways is, time is funny. Trollian already plays fast and loose with ideas like continuity, and when Karkat thought about combining the two timey-wimey balls of behemoth shit, he got a terrible pain in all the foreboding glands down his left side. He noodled around with it for a while, finally determining that he needed to close out and reboot his modified program with every new iteration of the observation window.

This was convenient, because ~ath coding is specifically designed to link events to the death of an external destructor, such as a universe. But the problem was, well, the universe starts right back up again. His first few attempts at coding his way around the problem failed in complicated tangles of continuity; more than one computer detonated under the strain of jammed timelines. It wasn't until he thought of finally using Sollux's curse program--the one that killed his lusus, the one that ruined everything--that it all came together for him.

That program was designed to bifurcate, and only execute when the universe both did and did not exist at the same time, as he understood it. It was therefore a reality-torching curse program in most locations in Paradox Space, dumping massive zemblanity overflows into the local reality and steering reality as hard towards nonexistence as it could, rather than wait patiently--but Milliways was special. Once he figured out how to index the universe being called to the one outside the bar window, it was the perfect solution.

He made one error, which he never noticed until he had already turned the server loose to fend for itself in the mountains.

He had forgotten to close the loop. It was a simple error of syntax, putting the DIE command on the wrong side of a bracket, and there was no way it could ever cause any harm even once he knew it was there. The function would merely be called again and again, each time the universe window looped, without ever closing out; instead of periodic spikes of zemblanity, a rising tide of negative synchronicity. But the bar is shielded from the ill-luck of the doomed universes outside, up to a rating of 1.9 yottageddons. Someone would have do something seriously stupid to the shields to allow a zemblanity leak into the bar itself.

Of course, it's always good coding to go back and close loops, even for cases you never expect to come up, and there was always the chance that it would overtax the server, despite a truly ridiculous amount of RAM. Karkat promised himself he would definitely get around to fixing it. After all, the server would surely need to be overhauled after the first bugs were worked out, anyway.

But the server worked fine, and in any case, due to a mutation in its self-preservation AI and the depredations of the demonbunnies, it vanished into the woods, careening around on its mechanical crab legs, and he never found it again. He shrugged it off and felt, for the most part, pretty good about himself for a change.

Minus that little glitch, it was the only perfect program he had ever written.
 
 
 
Karkat Vantas
23 January 2012 @ 04:07 pm
the perfect programCollapse )
 
 
Karkat Vantas
14 January 2012 @ 10:52 pm
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has started trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]--
CG: FURBALL
CG: YOU
CG: ME
CG: THE ROOF
CG: FRIDAY NIGHT
CG: WEAR SOMETHING NICE

--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]--
Tags: , ,
 
 
Karkat Vantas
28 December 2011 @ 07:44 pm
Punchcard AlchemyCollapse )
Tags: ,
 
 
 
Karkat Vantas
22 December 2011 @ 01:26 pm
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has started trolling GrimAuxiliatrix [GA]--
CG: KANAYA
CG: I NEED YOUR HELP WITH SOMETHING
CG: KANAYA
CG: DON'T DO THIS TO ME, THE SCARY BEYOND ALL REASON FORGE GUY IS WITH ME
CG: HE IS WAITING FOR ME TO CONTACT YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A JACKASS AND THIS GUY REALLY INTIMIDATES ME
GA: Ugh
GA: Fuck
GA: What
CG: YES. UGH AND FUCK
GA: What Is It
CG: THIS IS THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TO YOUR DERELICTION OF DUTY
CG: HOLY SHIT IT IS COLD OUT HERE
GA: Karkat
CG: WHAT
GA: What The Fuck Are You Going On About Now
CG: I NEED YOU TO CONNECT TO ME AS A SERVER SO I CAN INSTALL AN ALCHEMITER IN THE FORGE
CG: SORRY I THOUGHT THAT WAS OBVIOUS
CG: I DON'T KNOW WHY, IT JUST SEEMED LIKE WE HAD ALREADY COVERED THAT SOMEHOW
CG: YOU WILL HAVE TO RE-INSTALL SGRUB ON YOUR HUSKTOP BUT IT'S EASY
CG: I DID IT FOR NEPETA A WHILE BACK
CG: BUT I AM SICK OF HAVING TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN AND EXPLAIN MY INTENTIONS TO HER EVERY TIME I WANT TO ALCHEMIZE SOMETHING
GA: Yes Well Being Woken From A Dead Sleep Isnt Exactly The Best For Ones Thought Processes
CG: HOLY SHIT, YOU WERE ASLEEP? EVEN I AM AWAKE ALREADY
CG: YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON SOME PREMIUM SHITTY DAYLIGHT
CG: WELL ACTUALLY IT IS PRETTY PISS-POOR AND DARK OUT HERE
CG: ALL KINDS OF GREY AND CLOUDS AND SHIT
GA: Hold On And Give Me A Moment To Wake Up While I Reinstall Sgrub
CG: SNOW EVERYWHERE
GA: I Was Up Late Working
GA: I Was Catching Up On Missed Sleep
CG: YOU MEAN YOU BRIEFLY IMITATED A NORMAL PERSON, GOOD FOR YOU
CG: BUT RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE AN IMPORTANT JOB TO DO
CG: IE PREVENTING ME FROM BEING EMBARRASSED IN FRONT OF A CREEPY GOTHIC DUDE IN ARMOR
CG: HE LOOKS LIKE THE LAST TIME HE SMILED ALL THE VOLCANOES ON HIS PLANET EXPLODED AND WIPED OUT THE DINOSAURS
CG: HEY HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SNOW, IN YOUR DESERT?
CG: BECAUSE THERE IS A FUCKLOAD OF IT OUT HERE
CG: IT MUST HAVE SNOWED LIKE HELL WHILE WE WERE SLEEPING
CG: WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN ALL THESE CLOUDS, GOOD WORK INSPECTOR KARKAT
CG: ARE YOU ASLEEP AGAIN? DID YOU PASS OUT ON YOUR KEYBOARD?
GA: Yes Because Its Not Difficult Enough Trying To Keep A Sleeping Schedule That Incorporates Socializing With You And Nepeta While Keeping My Diurnal Sleeping Schedule
GA: Apologies
CG: THIS IS WHAT IS INSUFFERABLE ABOUT YOU, KANAYA, IN THE MIDDLE OF BITCHING ME OUT FOR BEING A TOOL YOU TAKE TIME OUT TO APOLOGIZE
GA: I Was Locating The Game Code And Re-Installing It
GA: I Was Apologizing For My Delay In Response
CG: EXCUSES, EXCUSES AND LIES
CG: ARE YOU READY TO GO?
GA: Yes
CG: THIS GUY IS GIVING THE HAIRIEST EYEBALL I HAVE EVER SEEN AND I KILLED A BARKBEAST INFECTED WITH ARGUS SPORES ONE TIME
CG: OKAY LET ME SWITCH TO MY CRABTOP HERE
--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling GrimAuxiliatrix [GA]--

--carcinoGeneticist [CG] has started trolling GrimAuxiliatrix [GA]--
CG: OKAY SIGNING INTO SGRUB AND THERE YOU ARE.... STARTING THE CONNECTION NOW
CG: PRETTY SOON YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEE ME AND THIS SHITTY FORGE
CG: IT IS NOT WHAT I IMAGINED, I GUESS I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE FORGE ON YOUR PLANET, BUT THIS IS A LOT LESS ENORMOUS AND VOLCANO-Y
GA: There Are A Few Worse Things To Be Inflicted In Seeing Upon Waking
GA: Nonetheless Yes I See You
CG: OKAY GREAT
CG: I AM TALKING TO THIS GUY ABOUT WHERE TO PUT THE EXTRA ROOM
CG: OBVIOUSLY THIS PLACE IS TOO RAMSHACKLE TO BUILD STRAIGHT UP
CG: I THINK PROBABLY THE BEST THING TO DO WOULD BE TO JUST COPY AND PASTE THIS WHOLE LITTLE POKY ROOM NEXT TO ITSELF
CG: HE SAYS BEHIND THE FORGE ITSELF IS THE BEST THING, THIS BACK WALL

CG: WE WILL NEED THE ROOM FOR ALL THE ALCHEMICAL GARBAGE, IT TAKES UP A LOT OF SPACE UNTIL YOU GET IT ALL PLUGGED INTO THE JUMPER SHUNT
GA: Alright One Extra Room Coming Up
CG: AND THEN JUST SLING ALL THE ALCHEMY JUNK IN THERE, I WILL HANDLE COLLAPSING IT ALL WITH THE UPGRADES
CG: JUST GIVE ME THE RAW MATERIALS AND I WILL HANDLE IT FROM THERE
GA: Fine
GA: Here
GA: Oops
CG: JEGUS
CG: I THINK THAT ANVIL JUST JUMPED SIX FEET
CG: WHAT DID YOU DO?
GA: Nothing Permanent
GA: Its Fixed Now
CG: OH FUCK, THAT SOUNDS OMINOUS
CG: I AM BEGGING YOU NOT TO EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THIS GUY
CG: I KNOW SGRUB IS ALWAYS THE CAUSE OF THE MOST HILARIOUS OF SHENANIGANS
CG: BUT JUST THIS ONCE
CG: HE KIND OF REMINDS ME OF JACK
CG: OUR JACK, THE OKAY ONE
CG: NOT THE OMNICIDAL DOGGOD
GA: I Will Refrain From Hilarious Shenanigans
CG: GOOD
CG: COULD YOU MAYBE GIVE US A DOOR INTO THIS NEW ROOM, THOUGH?
GA: For Now In Any Case
CG: FROM OUR PERSPECTIVE IT IS JUST A LOT OF SOUND EFFECTS
GA: But Of Course
CG: GREAT
CG: ...
CG: YOU CAN SEE ME, RIGHT?
CG: WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
GA: Yes
CG: I TOLD YOU TO COPY AND PASTE A VERY SPARE, WOODEN UTILITARIAN ROOM FULL OF DULL IRON AND SHARP METAL
CG: WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN LOOKING AT
CG: HOW DID YOU EVEN DO THIS SO FAST, DID YOU HAVE THIS SHIT SAVED IN THE AETHENEUM ALREADY?
GA: I Cleaned Up A Bit
CG: DID YOU DO THIS TO VRISKA'S HIVE?
CG: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT, I AM TALKING ABOUT THESE WALL HANGINGS
CG: AND IS THIS A MURAL?
GA: Yes
CG: JEGUS THERE ARE CROWN MOLDINGS
CG: THIS IS ALL FRIVOLOUS NONSENSE
GA: Is It Not Lovely
CG: IT IS
EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING

CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS IN VRISKA'S HIVE
CG: HOLY SHIT
CG: THIS IS A FORGE, IT IS AN EXTREMELY BUSINESSLIKE AND STAID LOCATION MAINTANED BY THE GRIMMEST MOTHERFUCKER I HAVE EVER CLAPPED GLOBES ON
CG: WHY WOULD YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA
GA: While I Am Up And Online With This Is There Anything Your Companion Would Like Altered
CG: NO, KEEP YOUR GODDAMN DECORATOR FRONDS OFF HIS SPACE
CG: HE WILL KICK ME OUT
CG: THIS IS FINE, GO BACK TO SLEEP AND I WILL HANDLE ALL THE JUMPERS
GA: And There Is Nothing Wrong With A Little Aesthetic Quality
CG: THERE IS EVERYTHING WRONG WITH IT, BUT I HAVE TO REMEMBER YOU GREW UP WITH WARPED VALUES
CG: IT ALL STARTS WITH THE SUN-WORSHIPPING
CG: IT ALL GROWS OUT OF THAT
GA: Oh My
CG: GO BACK TO SLEEP, I HAVE TO TALK TO THIS GUY SOME MORE
CG: I WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO EXPLAIN PUNCHCARD ALCHEMY
GA: I Believe I Feel The Urge For Shenanigans Rising
CG: THANK YOU FOR DEPLOYING ALL THIS
CG: NO, NO, FUCK YOU
CG: NO SHENANIGANS
GA: Apologize
CG: I WENT ALONG WITH YOUR RIDICULOUS HOLIDAY IDEAS
CG: GOD YOU REALLY POWERTRIP ON BEING THE SERVER, DON'T YOU
CG: FINE, I APOLOGIZE
GA: For
CG: I AM A WORTHLESS HUSK OF A MALFORMED MUTANT SLUDGE THAT HAS NO RIGHT TO IMPUGN YOUR AESTHETIC VALUES
CG: AND I SHOULD GROVEL IN THE DIRT IN GRATITUDE THAT YOU HAULED YOUR LAZY CARCASS OUT OF THE COCOON AND DEPLOYED ALL THIS SHIT FOR ME
CG: I AM A RUDE AND UNMANNER SWINGING PAIR OF MUSCLEBEAST TESTICLES
CG: SMELLY AND DISEASED
CG: AND BASICALLY THE WORST
CG: THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL ROOM AND I AM A SLOBBERING INGRATE
CG: I WAS JUST TOO STONED FROM SNIFFING MY OWN NOOK TO APPRECIATE IT
CG: THE USE OF LIGHT AND COLOR IS INSPIRED AND NOT AT ALL CREEPY AND TERRIFYING TO NORMAL PEOPLE WHO DON'T HANG OUT IN THE DAYLIGHT
CG: I WILL BE THE ENVY OF MY FRIENDS
CG: IF I HAD ANY, WHICH I DON'T BECAUSE OF HOW UNFATHOMABLY AWFUL I AM
CG: IS THAT ENOUGH?
--GrimAuxiliatrix [GA] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]--
 
 
 
Karkat Vantas
17 December 2011 @ 11:45 pm
CCG: OKAY
CCG: VRISKA, ARADIA, I EXPECT THE TWO OF YOU TO JUST DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT
CCG: SO THAT IS YOUR PART IN THE BATTLE
CCG: SOLLUX, STICK WITH ARADIA
CCG: THE PRIME ARADIA I MEAN
CCG: SHE HAS A PLAN INVOLVING TELEKINESIS AND METEORS
CCG: THE REST OF YOU, LISTEN UP
CCG: ERIDAN, I WANT YOU FLYING AROUND ON YOUR SPRITE LINING UP SHOTS
CCG: DON'T WASTE THEM ON ANYTHING BUT THE KING
CCG: TEREZI, TAVROS, THAT IS YOUR JOB, KEEP THE AIRBORNE GUYS OFF HIM
CCG: I HAVE A PLAN FOR THE DERSE BATTLEFLEET BUT A HUGE CHUNK OF THIS ARMY CAN FLY
CCG: TAVROS YOU ARE EQUIPPED FOR THE HEAVIES AND TEREZI IS FASTER, STICK TO YOUR JOBS OR YOU WILL GET SWARMED
CCG: EQUIUS, I WANT YOU TO PUNCH HIM AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
CCG: NEPETA KEEP THE INFANTRY OFF HIM SO HE CAN FOCUS ON THE KING
CCG: FEFERI HELP HER WITH THAT, YOU ARE PRETTY STRONG
CCG: GO FOR THE HEAVY UNITS, NEPETA THE LIGHT INFANTRY
CCG: KANAYA AND GAMZEE AND I WILL BE THE THIRD UNIT
CCG: GAMZEE, I NEED YOU TO HOLD ONTO BILIOUS SLICK FOR US
CCG: DON'T DROP HIM OR TRY TO LICK HIM OR ANYTHING STUPID
CCG: I REALIZE THIS SOUNDS INSANE BUT SOMEHOW GAMZEE IS AT THE TOP OF HIS ECHELADDER
CCG: SO IF HE IS CARRYING THE FROG IT WILL BENEFIT FROM HIS DEFENSE STATS
CCG: KANAYA AND I WILL BE PROTECTING HIM
CCG: WE WILL ALSO BE SKIRMISHING WITH ARTILLERY TO KEEP THE AIR SPACE CLEAR
CCG: EQUIUS, FEFERI, NEPETA, YOU GUYS NEED TO BE FOCUSING ON THAT TOO
CCG: THE TELEKINETICS HITTING THE KING WITH METEORS, THE SPIDERGOD AND ERIDAN'S ANGELKILLER ARE OUR BEST BETS HERE
CCG: WAY AHEAD OF USE OUR FISTS
CCG: THE REST OF THE SPRITES ARE ALREADY ON THE BATTLEFIELD AND WILL BE PROVIDING HEALING AND SPOTLIGHTING ENEMY UNITS
CCG: HAVE THEM FOCUS ON ARTILLERY, ONE OF YOU GUYS GETTING BLOWN OUT OF THE SKY IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE HERE
CCG: OKAY, ANYBODY HAVE ANYTHING TO ADD?
CCG: OH RIGHT, NONE OF YOU ARE INVITED TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS MEMO
CCG: EXCELLENT DECISION, PAST ME
CCG: LET'S GO KILL A KING.
 
 
Karkat Vantas
17 December 2011 @ 03:03 am
Karkat glares down at the chart he has scratched in the mud of the Land of Rays and Frogs. "OKAY, I THINK I HAVE THE FASTEST WAY TO THE LAND OF THOUGHT AND FLOW CHARTED OUT. FUCK THESE GODDAMN GATES, ANYWAY."
 
 
Karkat Vantas
30 November 2011 @ 06:22 pm
Typical outfit, or sense of style?

Karkat wears the same thing all the time. A long-sleeved black t-shirt (or sweater if it gets cold) and grey cargo pants. His shoes are clunky black things--like low-ankle boots. Troll by and large don't believe in fashion; like his erstwhile mentor, he has a "flair for the plain and serviceable." Whatever he wears will have his sign on it, because it's his sign. You have to wear your sign. It is such a cultural thing that he isn't even aware of it as a cultural thing.

Height?

He's pretty short, as an adolescent male and just in general. Quite possibly under five feet; he has some growth spurts ahead.

Hair color? Black. Blacker than human hair ever gets. Wiry and voluminous too; it is actually setae, the bristly stiff hair some bugs grow. Like a wooly bear caterpillar.

Eye color? Grey, with yellow sclera. Eventually it will fill in with red, the color of his blood. The sclera are yellow. Or very possibly, the yellow is all pupil, like a cat's eye. Trolls are nocturnal.

Body type (the more detail the better-- for instance, perhaps they have very bony wrists or super short legs)?

Short, like I said, and broad. He is a chunky little guy, like a lineman or a wrestler. In good enough shape; just a brick.

Tattoos, piercings, scars, birthmarks, amputations, etc?

He has a fair assortment of old/broken scars from a very rough childhood, but nothing particularly eye-catching. He is fairly unscathed for a troll.

Alien stuff

His fingernails are yellow-orange keratin, just like his horns, and thicker and sharper than human nails. He doesn't cut them as often. The horns are nubby and blunt; totally insensitive and rigid, but the skin around the bases is itchy and sensitive under the hair. They shade from almost red to pale waxy yellow at the tips.

His skin is pale and grey and very smooth--no hair except his head and eyebrows. Thick; it doesn't color easily, if he should happen to blush, but just darkens. Ears are slightly pointed and back-sloping. His teeth are small, spaced about like human teeth, but very sharp; small overbite. He has a second row of teeth behind them under the gums; trolls lose teeth pretty often. Grey tongue.

Despite the icons, he has a nose; flatter and broader than average, but not actually inhuman.

Typical expressions and/or gestures?

Facepalms; twisting, yanking and raking his hair. Broad, flagrant hand gestures. Striding around like a maniac when he's talking. Banging on the keyboard when he types. Gnashing his teeth and making faces. He is very expressive and if he is not happy with the direction of conversation it will be all over his face and his tensed-up body before it explodes out of his mouth. When he is really upset he curls up, folding his arms and slumping.

Posture and movement?

Normally very quick, direct and unsubtle. He stomps, strides and rushes a lot.

What does their voice sound like?

HOARSE AND LOUD. It sounds deeper than it should for someone his age, but that is probably the hoarseness. Very bland 'Midwestern' accent, if anything.

Hygiene routine, if any?

He bathes and washes his teeth and stuff. What trolls consider an attractive taste or smell may very from humans, but he isn't actually dirty. He is actually a pretty fastidious and fussy dude at heart; he keeps his space and himself far cleaner than other trolls.

Somewhat related, what do they smell like (take this one as metaphoric as you want, this is fiction)?

I hesitate to millicanon anything on this without consultation, but I suspect that while trolls don't actually smell bad they don't smell exactly human either. As humanoid bugs they may not have very much of a smell at all; the strongest smell around him is probably the smell of the sopor slime he sleeps in. As for what that smells like... uhhh. Slimy. It is a topical sedative, so maybe a heavy sleepy smell like lotus or poppies with a chemical tang?

Any physical insecurities?

The horns! They're so nubby. And in general, he doesn't like his body very much, as one facet of hating himself in totality and his blood color complex. Too short, too nubby, not strong enough, hair is cut too short, etc etc.

His one non-insecurity is that he does have good teeth--even, sharp fangs, without any of the little oral uniquenesses a lot of other trolls have. (Sollux has a double overbite, Vriska and Kanaya have prominent incisors, Aradia has flat herbivore teeth, Nepeta has a split kitty mouth, etc etc.)

He is really insecure about his blood, mostly because it was a death sentence if anyone saw him bleed (...for one of them...) and it makes him incredibly uncomfortable for people to see it.
 
 
 
Karkat Vantas
17 November 2011 @ 02:17 pm
==>Collapse )
 
 
 
Karkat Vantas
16 November 2011 @ 11:16 am
On a lot of subjects, there is room for a lot of regional variation--most of the trolls may well have lived far away from each other, so traditions, wildlife and so on could vary wildly. This is more general social structure stuff we have millicanoned so far.

Imagostipend. This is a word we made up to describe the way trolls sustain different 'class' levels with no visible means of support. Young trolls have a periodic imagostipend of troll Ceagars to spend based on their blood-caste. They can supplement this by hunting or making things for themselves, and buying and selling amongst themselves. Karkat's relatively densely populated suburban zone had free markets where young trolls traded or bought from each other.

But most of the commerce goes on through the Internet, and is delivered by orbital drop or manufactured by 3-D fax machine type devices. What you can buy is restricted by the empire--certain fetch modii, strife cards, and weapons are restricted to the upper classes. Karkat has said in his caste he got a single strife card with his sylladex that he was allowed to set, and if he wanted anything else he would have to buy it or take it off someone.

Food and drink. Here is a not-exhaustive list of stuff we have millicanoned for trolls to eat, in addition to the canonical grubloaf.

Troll fajitas - cholerbear meat, with spicy glands and brains, wrapped in a bitter leaf
Murdervine/murderberry juice - this is a beverage Karkat has partaken of pretty often, and it grew in his Land in an OOM. It has a bright red skin, but blue juice. Might be an Alternian cherry. The pips are deadly if ingested (you are supposed to spit them out); Bar won't serve it pulpy.
Starfish sandwiches - the joke here is that you keep a tank of starfish in the thermal hull and tear off a few legs for a sandwich, which will grow back. A cheap and easy meal for lowbloods. It sounds and is pretty loathsome, but Karkat eats it as a comfort food sometimes.
Puffed maggot husks -  a salty popcorn-like snack. Sometimes served with myodermic ichor, a vinegar-esque condiment

Stuff that DOESN'T exist, or is rare.
Dairy products - Obviously Equius likes his milk, but then he has a musclebeast lusus. Cheese and other dairy products are unfamiliar to most of the trolls, at least in practice if not theory, because live birth is rare on Alternia.
Chocolate - Kanaya was pretty surprised and excited to discover chocolate! We do get some references to fudge, particularly Tavros as fudge-blooded; might be an upperclass delicacy, per Equius, or... well, there are ways of making fudge out of blood. No, seriously.

Iatrocisionists - It has been pretty firmly millicanoned that trolls don't have doctors. There are informal anatomy experts, like Equius, and then there are the imperial iatrocisionists, the terrifying field medics who practice Darwinian triage, patching up those judged worthy and culling the rest. They have been described as not wearing an external sign and being masked, both to hide their identity and to be a figure of fear. They wear cloaks and beaky masks, like a medieval plague doctor.

Growing up - We have worked out a chronology more or less along these lines:

Grub - A short period of time while the young trolls scramble around amongst themselves fighting for a place to spin a cocoon.
Cocoon - in this phase young trolls are schoolfed by nursery drones and overseen by jadebloods. They learn to read and speak and basics about troll life from schoolfeeding; according to their tastes, they may pursue other topics as well. Karkat, for instance, choked down a lot of coding pap that did not agree with him because he wanted to be a hacker. I don't think we've ever said how long this lasts, but... a while. Long enough to grow pretty big.
Imago - This is all of the trolls we know, growing up. They start in the breeding caverns and fight through monsters to the surface, being chosen by a lusus along the way, mainly by scent. Then they design their hive, with their resources and locations for it determined by lusus (with the assumption that lusus = caste, thus protecting Karkat). Then they... grow up. Troll puberty hits around four or five sweeps, with blackpuberty possibly coming a little later. Trolls leave the planet around nine sweeps.
Adult - ALL adults are, officially, part of the military, although clearly they spend at least part of their time on other stuff. Also, there are the mutimercenaries, possibly mythical troll mutants and mutineers who fled the Empire and make a living as soldiers-for-hire. Caste is probably LESS important as adults, slightly, because lowbloods can prove themselves in combat and rise through the ranks. Certain information is withheld or obscured for the kids, like the exact power and role of the subjuggulators.

Imago culture - the Internet is pretty important; trolls don't get along, especially in large groups, and mingling at a distance with like-minded strangers is safer than hanging out with your murderous neighbors. There are various factions and secret societies among troll society who maintain things and war among themselves, all of them transitory as young trolls grow up and leave. The two longest running are the Trollopedia editors, with their Notability Crusade, and their opposing faction in the Spoilers Guild, who make it their business to ruin entertainment for others with excruciating detail. A former Spoilers Guild leader in the troll Senate passed the law that all troll movies would give away the entire plot in their title. Leaders of these common-interest groups are called enthusiarchs. Karkat was almost certainly a Spoilers Guild member in his past, although he refuses to comment.


Blood dynamics: This has been mostly taken from canon, but it's possible other people could read it differently, so we thought writing it out was good.

Basically, while blood-based racism is unfair and bullshit, it is NOT true that different blood castes aren't different. They play different, necessary roles in society, and those roles have been thrown off-balance by Doc Scratch, the Demoness and the sea-dweller empire, with an immortal queen and a horrorterror for muscle.

The highbloods are more inclined to be unstable, scheming, and extremely dangerous; this is NOT a bad thing, if it's kept in check. Every society probably needs some people like that. The lowbloods are calmer and more prone to having wild talents and psychic powers. This doesn't make them better, either. Just less volatile. The least volatile are the greenbloods, whose role is one of peacemaking and mediation, on a larger scale, just as there are conciliatory relationships on the personal level. These are just tendencies, but the pattern holds. All the greenbloods are, in different ways, concerned with relationships, meddling and helping people. (Terezi, straddling blue and green, wants a career in civil service, for instance.) Seadwellers are rated as EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, so they are probably just underwater highbloods, mostly.

In a more civil (preScratch) troll society, they probably could have lived in a moderated peace; but the seadwellers use their advantages to turn the hemospectrum into a hierarchy, putting the most dangerous trolls on top. It is probably all the bug-fuss-meddle crowd can do to keep the whole thing from imploding.
 
 
 
Karkat Vantas
09 November 2011 @ 09:19 am
Okay! OOC instructions on how to participate in a memo--actually it is really easy, because the formatting of the memos is just like a livejournal thread! Officially, they are not threaded, just one comment after another,, so feel free to threadhop or insert your character's comments/opinions midstream in someone else's subthread. Y'all know how normal non-RP livejournal threads work, I don't have to tell you. Different subthreads will happen sequentially in millitime.

When typing in a memo, everyone's user initials and text are formatted the same, but with the addition of a "C" for CURRENT. This is because the memo function has some weird temporal properties Karkat has gutted. If you forget it, it doesn't really matter--he has tried to take it out altogether, but... weird temporal properties. Because of that, it will pretty much always be CURRENT and RIGHT NOW in the time fields.

If your character is a T Minus user, it would be pretty easy to state that a bulletin they put up on the physical board is also present as a memo, so people can interact. It would be sliiightly more realistic than the escalating series of follow-up notes pinned to the board we have all used in the past to simulate the same thing  >.>. And would definitely make it easier to get in touch with people responding to such a post.

All fancy-pants HTML formatting is, again, STRICTLY OPTIONAL, but follows for the perfectionists among us:

When your character FIRST accepts the invitation and checks out the memo, use this format:  

<b><font face=courier><font color="red">CURRENT yourName [CYN]</font> RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
<font color="red">CYN: Said some stuff/</font></b></font>

Once they are participating, you just use

<font face=courier color=red><b>CYN: the usual formatting!</font></b> for individual comments.

If you want to include narrative in your tags as well, it's up to you. Obviously no one can see that unless they happen to be in the same room. Which they might well be, this being a bar.

If you want to create a new memo/new board, well, just imitate the formatting Karkat used in his post. Here it is with the HTML.

<lj-cut text="Memo"><font face="courier"><b><font color="626262">CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG]</font> 1 DAY AGO opened public transtimeline bulletin board MAGICAL MYSTERY BAR VIRTUAL BULLETIN BOARD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<font color="626262">CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG]</font> 45 MINUTES AGO opened memo on board MAGICAL MYSTERY BAR VIRTUAL BULLETIN BOARD</font></b>


Obviously adjust the time, user, name of the board, and public/private setting. If you are using a board that has already been created--either by you, or another player, or just this one Karkat has made--just use the last line

<font face="courier"><b><font color="626262">CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG]</font> 45 MINUTES AGO opened memo on board MAGICAL MYSTERY BAR VIRTUAL BULLETINBOARD</font></b>

Now that Karkat has invited everyone to that board, new posting will be visible there automatically, so you can skip that step. If it is a new board... well, it is probably either public or you have discussed OOC who it's visible to, so frankly you can skip the step then, too.

Questions can go below or, ICly, in the memo Karkat started!



 
 
Karkat Vantas
03 November 2011 @ 11:25 am
BlurghCollapse )
 
 
Karkat Vantas
03 November 2011 @ 10:53 am
MemoCollapse )